I had been very busy being someone cool, important, worthy or beautiful while I had kept myself busy, competitive and thirsty. When I look back on my past, I can find out that I achieved a lot of things I wanted to be but I never complimented myself on what I had done. It was like a never-ending hunger or endless task of life.
I was hungry and thirsty.
Something was always missing.
I kept asking myself "What should I do?", "What do I want to do?", "Why am I here?", and "Who am I?"
No answer. No way. No ending.
However, I couldn't give up questioning on those "Self-argument" (this word hasn't existed yet, though)
To make a long story short, I found the answer. I realized that it was not necessary to find the answer.
I make a question, therefore I can make an answer as well. All questions and answers are from myself, thus I am just aware of where there are from which is myself, no matter what my questions and answers are.
The truth really set me free.
I'm here. I have been being here. I will be here no matter who I choose to be.
There's no problem. Paradoxically, the only problem is that we procrastinate being aware of who we really are, so we keep thinking that we have a lot of problems we have to deal with. Nevertheless, we will realize that there is no more room to put it off when we face "death" which is an inevitable reality.
Whoo such a deep and contemplating post!
ReplyDeleteAs i always say, you are so mutual and calm in every aspect of life, which I deficient....
I think being always thirsty and hungry is good for making our lives alive and keep it moving forward...but sometimes we do need a rest I believe :).
Thank you, Kia!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was yonger than now, I always wished I could be mature and calm which I couldn't then. I am happy that I am now.
Also, I enjoyed your post!:)
It seems your life, Hee-Jung, is a Zen "koan" (with you being the asking Master and the disciple who attempts to solve the riddle ). I think it's great that you have achieved that sense of contentment and confidence. I also enjoyed this post of yours in terms of its writing, particularly the way you juxtaposed these two sentences: "To make a long story short, I found the answer. I realized that it was not necessary to find the answer." Well done!
ReplyDeleteWe are all affected by our identity, which is something difficult to make clear, I think.
ReplyDeleteI sympathized with you very much. You know how I'm respecting you? You have a lot of things which I should learn. You should be proud of yourself, and I'm proud of being your friends.
ReplyDeleteChieu, I'm also proud of being your friend. Thank you so much!:)
ReplyDelete